Well, that’s another Christmas over! And as we start to turn our thoughts to the new year, we often think about what we could do to change ourselves, make our lives better, but why wait those extra few days is something I’ve always wondered.
Is it so we can keep eating what so many regards as forbidden fruit, to give ourselves a cut-off point, or is it because well, that’s how it’s always been.
I know that I need to replenish my soul and the biggest thing I can do is learn to love myself, not as easy as it sounds but if I can achieve that then surely everything else will fall into place, and that is why I’m not waiting for 2020 to arrive, I am starting now.
I owe this to myself; it is long overdue. I owe it to myself to give the same love I do to others; in fact, I think it’s long overdue to fall madly deeply and crazy in love with myself.
The biggest question is how do I do that?
I have a plan it’s been in my subconscious for some time I just hadn’t been listening.
I’m hitting my internal delete button; all the negativity of the past years is going into the bin.
Each time I have a negative thought I’m flipping that baby on its head to a positive thought.
There is no room in my life for any more negativity, it sits and festers inside me and makes life harder so removing the poison from my life is a good start.
I will keep the lessons I’ve learned; I can’t change the past, and constantly thinking of all the negative from those lessons makes me sad and it isn’t healthy to keep that inside.
We all at some point wish we were thinner or gained some weight, our lips are too big, too small, our nose too crooked, too big, is that because it’s true or has it been drummed into us that we need to look perfect because that is what the media say.
So no more looking at myself and seeing all that I perceive as wrong with me, and more looking and seeing myself inside as well as out.
My mantra is going to be ‘I am beautiful inside and out, and it is true because I say it is’.
No more filters, no more photoshopped images will change what I look like, so a more positive realistic look at myself can only be a good thing.
Of course, I have imperfections, we all do, even models who we see as perfect will when interviewed talk about what they see wrong with them.
So embrace your imperfections I say after all it is what makes us so unique.
Self-Love isn’t easy
A life with no worries or problems do not exist, and I know on this journey there will be many issues to face. I’m sure though that with a better mindset, where in the past there were what felt like a never-ending flow of problems, I’m hoping that there will be fewer to face and that my mindset makes me look at them differently.
To that end, I am going to accept that 80% of my life will be positive and good and the other 20% there will be full-blown crappy issues that I will breeze through and accept that it is just part of life.
I promise myself that every time I fall, I will rise back up, and keep moving forward and no looking back.
To reach my full potential I can’t and must not allow toxic situations and people into my life. I refuse to allow them to poison me with their cheap nasty words born from their insecurities.
Toxic is exhausting, it penetrates deeply into one’s psyche and I have no more time for that.
Those that do not have my best interests at heart, who don’t want to see me succeed have no place in my life.
There is only room for those that are cheering me on and watching me evolve and grow as I, in turn, watch them grow and I’ll more than happily put on a cheerleader’s outfit to show the world that when you support instead of destroying changes for the better do happen.
I am my own hero
I don’t need someone to love me to make me stronger. I don’t need someone to save me, because the only person who can save me, is me!
I am going to stand up for myself to those that treat me wrong. If a situation isn’t feeding me, then I will remove myself with no explanation as I no longer am willing to explain to those that do not deserve it.
I will no longer keep quiet just so those around me feel comfortable in the situation, if they can’t handle this new me, they are the ones who no longer have the right to be in my life.
Its time to stop letting situations hurt me and that’s a fact!
I am going to read more
I used to love reading all the time, but I can’t remember the last time I just curled up and read a book.
I would lose myself between those pages, I’d enter another world where just for a short time reality left the building and I found tales of wonder and surprise.
I know it will be a good escape for when I need to recharge my batteries and, in those pages, I will find motivation and inspiration that will help and encourage me in my journey of change.
Time to spoil me
I will continue to work hard at my job, as that feeds into the changes I’m making, it is a means to an end, but I may also change my career this year, something that has been slowly growing in the back of my mind.
I intend to have spa days and days where all I do is hit the couch and watch Netflix all day.
I will stop putting off the little things and get them done so that I can give myself full days just for me and not an odd hour here and there.
I will go out more with friends, go for that meal long-promised and enjoy the freedom of not being tied to any one person or one place.
I will say “No!” more often, loud and clear
The freedom of saying ‘No!’ is incredible, it lifts your spirits where once there was this heavyweight and dreading saying the word.
No longer will I do the things that do not serve me, selfish? NO! I’m looking after to me and that is just how it should be.
We are here for a short time; we have one life and I for one am no longer prepared to waste it on those that put me under pressure and try to force me on another path.
Enough is enough.
Time to have fun
I will not be restricted in life anymore. It is time to have that wild and crazy adventure I’ve often talked about. I will sleep more, so I have the energy to fulfill my dreams.
I will laugh more, I will love more, I will be creative and bold, hell I’ll even dance more even though I really can’t dance, but who cares if it makes me happy, I will damn well do it.
I will be going on the trip I’ve always promised myself and I’ll go alone too as I am never lonely with myself, besides me and I have this agreement this is our year for self-love and growth.
My happiness is entirely up to me
I know this seems a lot of changes for me to go through, but it is not some flighty whim this has been a long time coming, I just needed to be in a place where I was ready and now I am.
Only I can do this, only I can navigate this path, there’s no maps or GPS, there is just my deep desire to stop existing and learn that it is time to live and to live with love.