Modern Dating Is So Screwed Up

Basically, the culture people live in is the deciding factor of how they’ll choose to date. With the increasing use of phone and introduction of apps like Tinder and Bumble, people now have a great number of potential lovers within their range. Moreover, people nowadays also take sex as some sort of meaningless casual activity. With obstacles like these, relationships are hard to hold down if you’re looking for something serious.

In the modern world, we look for the most convenient options for ourselves. Instead of going out we’d just swipe the screen, let the app choose the person for us and talk. We like being available at all times and demand the same in return. Too many options mean you can pick whoever you like which narrows down our long-term commitment goals.

I’m not saying you should lower your standards or there’s something wrong with having high standards, but you should know what you need instead of demanding for everything. You can’t have all in one. It’s called being perfect which is merely impossible to achieve. 

We didn’t build these high standards all on our own – the media set these standards. We believe what we see online in pictures not knowing the real stories. We believe real love looks like what we’re seeing in these pictures. We forget that everyone has their own ups and downs, and nobody shares their failures online.

When you see potential lovers being available at all times on these apps, you believe you can take your pick whenever you want. We don’t make the effort to fix things anymore or we’d rather find someone new with one single click instead of sticking around with one person through hard times. Why waste energy on fixing something that’s broken when you can get a new one?

There’s no rocket science that relationships are difficult and complicated. People aren’t perfect and it isn’t easy to get along or accept each other’s flaws. Once your honeymoon period ends, you’ll have to face reality. By reality I mean you’ll have to put up with your partner’s flaws, compromise and have patience through it all. You have to be their constant. You need to work on yourself to work things out even when your relationship is hanging off the edge – learn commitment.

This online dating culture has made finding new and perfect partners too convenient for everyone and in desperate times, everyone does look perfect. But in reality, if you think closely, you’ll know that no one is perfect, you just got to find someone you’re willing to compromise for.

Labels – something that people with commitment issues are too afraid to pursue. Accepting that you’re actually in a relationship with certain someone seems a bit too much for them. The persistence required for commitment is just missing in them. 

You need to understand that things aren’t going to work out with anyone if you’re not willing to put in the effort a relationship requires.

Overthinking is too common and easy. Assuming that a person doesn’t love or even like you just by the tone of a text or a voice note is a bit of a stretch. We will analyze everything in so much detail and eventually convince ourselves that something is wrong. We’ll jump to conclusions and believe they’ll turn their back on us the first chance they get. The fear of loneliness and rejection takes over.  

This fear of getting hurt holds us back from commitment.

We can’t be sure of anything. Questions like “what could’ve been..” will arise in the back of our minds at all times. The doubts will always be there and that is the reality of life.

One must be strong enough to take risks and be ambitious if they want to achieve something in their life. Take a chance, find someone you think is right and commit to them. Be prepared to get feel a rollercoaster of emotions.

You have to accept that life isn’t something you can control. You have to go with the flow and learn to accept. People will make you happy but they will hurt you too.