“Alexa, please gaslight my girlfriend”
With more homes being updated to include smart technology under the guise of making life easier, I wonder if the inventors ever suspected their devices would be used to gaslight people.
The smart home takes terrorising innocent victims to a whole new sphere of abuse and there as yet isn’t even an adequate law to protect you.
When you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist it isn’t until you are well and truly under their control that you even realize the horrific life cycle you are in.
Their favorite ways of getting to you are to convince you that you are crazy, you’re going mad, you’ve imagined things, all classic gaslighting.
How often have we sat down and watched a movie where you see that exact behavior play out and think they wouldn’t get to me like that, its just a movie, it’s not real life. Let me tell you, it is real life for some, and the damage done last for a long time.
How many times have you been told you’re oversensitive, you’re being a drama queen, you’re a psycho, you’re being hysterical, and you’re left wondering am I going insane.
A narcissist will literally rewrite your reality, they will deny what you know to be true, it’s a constant rewrite of your life, it’s one long gaslighting.
Now I’ve set the scene imagine this;
You are at home alone it’s the middle of the night and you get woken up to the TV blaring out, the music system playing a song you hate, lights flickering on and off, you’d be scared wouldn’t you, wondering what the hell is going on, is the home haunted?
Perhaps after turning everything off you’d think there must be a problem with the electrics and you’ll call a service guy in the morning, you crawl back into bed and fall asleep, to only then being woken up again a few hours later to hear your blender whirling its head off in the kitchen, so you get up and turn it off.
When everything checks out as working okay, you can’t help wondering did you dream it all, are you going mad.
You tell your boyfriend all about it and he shows so much concern, he tells you that yes maybe you did dream it, you’ve been working so hard it may be stress, he wants you to see your doctor. It makes sound sense so off you go to the doctor who agrees its most likely stress and offers you something to help keep you calm and sleep, and then begins the slippery slope, one which can take years to climb back out from.
Things go quiet for a while and you get lulled into a false sense of security, you’re at home alone again watching a movie, the lights start turning on and off, then finally off leaving you in total darkness, your drapes open and close, blinds go up and down and you’re left cowering on the sofa with a cushion over your face a sobbing wreck of fear.
Don’t think that can happen?
It can and it has.
This is called coercive control and anyone who has had access to your smart home technology can remotely mess with your system and in turn your mind.
Victims of narcissists began reporting these issues as they became suspicious of partners and ex-partners and after lengthy investigations, it could be proved that events such as described above were being caused by those outside the home.
What was once supposed to make life easier and make you feel secure in your home, is now abused.
The women’s charity refuge worked with Google to raise awareness of what could be done through these devices and they published some useful advice.
You can find their advice here; useful tips and advice
We rely on technology so much it seems we can’t remember a time without it, from banking apps to grocery shopping.
In a way, we have isolated ourselves into our homes as we can literally get our smart homes to do almost everything, even flush the damn toilet!
Smart homes are a hackers delight and if you have a partner or ex-partner who is tech savvy then for them it’s a whole new game and way of abusing you.
If you lived with all these strange things going on you would think you’re going mad, then try and explain that to an outside person, not easy, and of course when they visit nothing happens.
It’s living a horror movie and you have the leading role, and the villain is off stage right controlling everything going on.
Gaslighting is hard to prove at the best of times, it is corrosive and pernicious. It is manipulative by changing the environment that makes us feel safe, changing how people perceive us, and changing who we are, as we become unsure of ourselves and our confidence simply disappears and we become a shadow of who we were.
The narcissists really gets a kick out of seeing you change and the more you change the tighter their hold is on you.
They thrive on instilling fear, making you almost live off of your adrenaline which can make you sick.
Think long and hard before having smart devices so easily available and should you be thinking of going ‘smart’ just remember that one day your partner or ex-partner could say;
“Alexa, please gaslight my girlfriend”