Depression is never something to be taken lightly it claws its way in and takes hold very quickly. Too often we think it is our fault that we have done something to make us feel this way when it is a good possibility that in some cases it is the people who are around us that are the actual cause of the depression.
It is hard to acknowledge or even recognize that we have depression until it is already embedded into us and it leaves us feeling powerless to do anything about it.
Your will to live the life you once enjoyed disappears and every little thing becomes an exhausting chore so we start to avoid them.
Something which others take for granted such as getting out of bed and facing a new day becomes impossible. Showering, brushing our hair, cleaning our teeth becomes a mission that leaves us feeling like we have already done more than we can for one day.
Nothing gives us pleasure anymore, what was once our happy place a world of contentment now seems dark and dangerous.
When feeling like this it is important to look around you at the people closest to you and ask yourself are they really any good for you. Do they make you feel inadequate, are they making you feel like shit for the things you want to do. Are they too often saying things that bring you down and masking it as comments like ‘I’m only saying it because I care’.
Your partner is supposed to be your life battle buddy, the one you can turn to and say what is on your mind without fear of them bringing you down. They are supposed to encourage you and be strong when you need them to be.
If they are not supporting you, then you need to ask yourself are they actually the cause of why you feel facing each day is too much.
Your partner makes you feel small or insignificant
A healthy relationship is always on an equal footing, you work together to build the life you ‘both’ want and you most certainly don’t put each other down. If your partner says things that make you feel worthless then the environment you are living in is toxic and is what is impacting your mental health.
Your partner doesn’t shy away from criticizing you or pointing out your mistakes
When thinking of your partner do you struggle to think of a time when they made you feel good about yourself if you can’t then that is a huge problem. If you feel like you can’t do anything right and they pick up on everything you do wrong then your partner is toxic as they are attempting and it looks like succeeding in putting you in your place, the place they have designated for you.
Your partner is overly controlling and gives you very little freedom to make your own decisions
If your partner has changed who you have as friends and effectively removed friends that you adored to spend time with that is a real issue. Your partner has begun to isolate you and most likely the friends they have removed are the strong ones who would have no problem confronting your partner about their behavior towards you. If you find yourself having to report your movements, who you speak to, what you do when apart, your partner is controlling you even when they are not with you.
Your partner ignores your emotional needs and pushes you away when you are feeling vulnerable
In a relationship, each person should never feel afraid to speak their mind on any matter, if you find when you try to speak up you are put down or they completely shut you out that is a major sign that your partner has no time or respect for you. Whilst they have been isolating you, they are working on making you feel unimportant and invalidating you as a person.
Your partner has anger issues that they often take out on you
No one causes someone to be aggressive towards others, the only person who causes aggression is the person themselves! Yes, we all get angry about something at times that is human nature but never allow a partner to blame you for their aggressive behavior. If your partner blames you for their anger, temper, outbursts of violence know it is not you, the bad behavior is all on them. If you find you have to walk on eggshells trying to keep the peace then that toxic environment will eat away at you leaving you scared, alone and depressed.
If all or some of the above sounds familiar then this is why you are feeling depressed and the only way you can deal with this is to remove yourself from that environment. I found that once away from my ex-partner who made me feel this way I changed.
No, the depression didn’t just walk out the door and take flight when I did, it walked the path with me, but I found life became a little easier each day I was apart from him. Life is hard enough already without having to live in a toxic environment, so as soon as possible remove yourself and take on some self-care, it’s a bold brave move, but one you will never regret.