We all know the stereotypical narcissist; cold calculated and extremely toxic, they are masters of manipulation and they are all around us in plain sight.
Studies have shown that at least 30% of young Americans today would be classed as narcissists under the current psychological standards.
Narcissists believe they are better than everyone else, they put themselves on a pedestal and will never accept they have imperfections.
The most devious side of a narcissist is their gift for manipulation, they are excellent at mind games and how they behave can be mistaken for signs of love.
1. They turn insults and public degradation into ‘cute little jokes’, telling you that they are just teasing you because they like you.
When we are children and some kid pulls our hair or picks on us we get told ‘Awe they just have a crush on you’ despite this being a crock of shit this thought process follows us through life so when a narcissist tells us they are just teasing us because they love us and we’re cute, what we sometimes can’t see is the horrible truth, it is part of their mind games.
2. Every aspect of who they are fits your vision of your ideal mate including their interests, hobbies, and personality.
We all have this idea of an ideal perfect partner and when the narcissist is getting to know you, they will talk of theirs and in turn, you talk about yours, what they have done is find out the exact information they need. They then build a whole fantasy world to fit your dreams. You think you are the luckiest person alive; the reality is they have pulled you into a world that doesn’t really exist.
3. They take you on a whirlwind journey of love and romance, whisking you off your feet so quickly that you don’t have time to question whether the relationship is real.
Narcissists work to a pattern of behavior and it is fast as they know before long you will work out who and what they truly are so they need you to be deeply in love with them and even dependent on them. They will convince you that they have fallen deeply in love with you, that they can’t imagine life without you. You skip the dating period and it feels like overnight you have moved to a long-term relationship; some have even been known to marry very quickly their victim.
4. Instantly struck by the intense chemistry that you share, they will convince you that this means you are destined soulmates.
They will do all they can to convince you that you are soul mates, that all the feelings you are ‘both’ having are real, that it is chemistry, fate and that only you two are destined to be together, sound familiar?
5. Their social circle is small because they are truly genuine individuals, selective about who is worthy of their love.
They have a small selective circle they have personally chosen; only special people are invited into their lives as they know their worth and they have no time for toxic people, how ironic! The truth is their circle is small and ever-changing as once people work out what they are they leave as fast as they can.
6. They will act overly sweet and loving so as to convince you that the few times their true personality came out is merely the exception to another otherwise kind and caring persona.
Even a narcissist can slip up in the early days and lose their temper and you are shocked by what you see. They realize what they have done and they go all out to convince you that is not who they truly are and they were just having a bad day. They will make extra effort to be loving and caring towards you until they see you are convinced it was a one-off. Truth is that day will come back to haunt you in the future once you are trapped in deep and you will see that is the day you saw the ‘real’ them for the first time.
7. They convince you that they want to take care of you and provide for you, but it’s actually a control tactic.
Before them, you were independent, in control of your life, living it the way you want and you’re happy and content. This is what attracted them to you in the first place. Slowly over time they will take control over you and disguise it as doing it as they want to help you and make you happy, the art of this manipulation is devastating as before long you have no control over anything in your life at all.