The narcissists do love Valentine’s day but not for the reasons the rest of us do.
If you think back in the last 90 days, we’ve had Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year, and no doubt for those in a narcissistic relationship all of those holidays had some kind of toxic drama and they found themselves wishing it could all be over with.
Now its Valentine’s Day, what will they get up to next……
You are already exhausted from their behavior and may be thinking perhaps this will be different. Well, unless hell has frozen over, that’s doubtful.
Valentines is the day where people show their love for each other, in the mind of a narcissist it’s a case of ‘Yay another holiday to ruin and mindf*ck her.’
There are different types of narcissists, each one just as deadly as the other, here is potentially how they may play out on February 14th.
The Big Shot (Classic Narcissist)
He takes love-bombing to a whole new level.
He will shower you with so many gifts your head will spin, he will take you out for the most romantic dinner you could imagine, whilst of course, making sure everyone knows what he has done for you.
Beware all of those gifts are markers to be called in when he feels like it, you may even find some or all the gifts disappear after Valentines either for a refund or to be given to his side chick!
The Wounded Soul- (Covert Narcissist/Malignant Borderline)
Nothing you do will be good enough for him on Valentine’s day, you will find yourself walking on more eggshells than usual, and that is exhausting.
If out for dinner he may accuse you of looking at another man just to start a fight, he may humiliate you in public, and may even go as far as to leave you stranded at the restaurant by walking out when he says he is going to the bathroom.
The Bad Boy- (Sociopath)
If he bothers to remember its Valentine’s day the gift you get will be more for him than you, he could gift you alcohol which he will consume, prime rib steak that he will also consume, there will be no individuality to his gift to you.
He may offer to cook you a romantic meal, don’t be fooled by this as you’ll soon find the doorbell ringing and his single friends joining you both and suddenly a party is in full swing and you were not ever invited.
If he does offer to take you out to dinner, he will very conveniently have forgotten his wallet and you may end up picking up the tab.
Mr Intellectual (The Cerebral Narcissist)
Valentine’s to him is one big joke, it is beneath him and only for the pathetic mortals of this world.
He doesn’t like to show affection at the best of times and to have a day dedicated to just that is not his idea of fun.
He tends to resort to the silent treatment for that day, leaving you wondering what you have done wrong, you’ve done nothing wrong it is his way of not spending time with you.
He will be around for part of the day at best, he is juggling so many women about that he must set a timetable to his day so each of you receives a little attention or in his mind, a little gaslighting goes a long way.
He will make so many promises, and there will be cries of ‘I have to work late, it’s not my fault, I will make it up to you’ that you feel sorry for him.
Don’t be fooled you are just one of his harem.
A relationship is hard enough, it takes effort, but to find yourself in a relationship with a mamma’s boy lord help us all.
He is a brat! He must have everything his own way, and the day will run on his timetable and no one else’s.
This kind of narcissists have been known to make an effort of time and gifts to their Mom’s on Valentines and you’ll be lucky if you get a bunch of wilted service station roses.
The Chameleon (Psychopath/Malignant Narcissist)
Sorry, but this is the most dangerous one of all, for he will give you a dream Valentine’s day.
He will shower you with gifts, flowers, perfume, sexy lingerie, take you out to dinner, gaze into your eyes, make the whole evening about you, but wait…..
During this period of time where you are seeing the man you originally fell in love with back, he is just acting, he will be getting your thoughts and emotions all fired up, so that when you get home, he can turn cold, unloving, hateful and enjoy every second of what he is seeing.
This one day you may find yourself going through emotional, physical, financial, sexual and psychological abuse. That’s a lot for anyone to experience.
Be good to yourself, don’t even bother with Valentine’s day, just make it another day of any given week, that will confuse him.
But, above all love yourself, there is nothing wrong with you, it is all on them.