When you think of candy I am sure a lot of things come to mind. But most likely one of the farthest things to enter your mind is kale. Yes, that’s right kale Green, bitter, and oh so good for you kale. Now we know there are already a wide variety of candies on the market and not all of them are sweet. From tart to savory you can indulge in every flavor. But this will leave you wishing you had never tried it.
Santa now has a new-age version of coal to leave for those naughty boys and girls on Christmas. Instead of leaving a hard black lump of earth, he will instead give a case full of the latest flavor of candy cane from novelty toy and candy company, Archie McPhee.
The company responsible for this atrocity has been selling “impractical items,” like the kale candy cane, since 1983. Kids are sure in for a surprise when they tear into these kale flavored candy canes. But not the happy kind of surprise you expect on Christmas morning.
Who wants a kale-flavored candy cane?
They announced their new line of veggie-flavored candy canes via Twitter last year. The folks over at Archie McPhee claim that the green-and-white striped candy cane tastes like their leafy green namesake, but with none of the nutrition. So, who in their right mind would ever want to eat one?
The product description on the Archie McPhee website reads,
KALE CANDY CANES
– Set of six green & white candy canes
– 5-1/4″ tall with kale flavoring
– Tastes just like the kale you love
– Finally, a candy cane everyone can agree on
All your Christmas dreams have come true! Kale Candy Canes are here! No more pesky holiday flavors to worry about, just the bitter grassiness of your favorite vegetable. Talk about a superfood, kale is not only very nutritious but also incredibly delicious. This set of six Kale Candy Canes gives you the flavor of kale with none of the dietary benefits. Plus, the package features personified kale. Kids love it! Each candy cane is 5-1/4″ tall with green and white stripes. 
To all of those who thought that the words kale and candy would never be used in the same sentence: it’s happening. Candy canes are traditionally flavored with peppermint, but may also come in different popular flavors such as blueberry, caramel, vanilla, and even chocolate.
To make matters even worse they didn’t stop at kale but also feature pickle, coal, and clam candy cane flavors on their website. As expected, the announcement of a new line of vegetable-flavored candy cane sparked off a wave of outrage on social media, with many calling a hard pass on veggie candy.
Archie McPhee’s “director of awesome,” David Wahl, also points out another possible issue most people didn’t even think about: green-striped candies are usually assumed to be mint.
“We do want to warn people that the green color of the candy cane might lead someone to believe that it has a minty flavor. We wouldn’t want anyone to be fooled into eating one accidentally,” he said. 
Imagine buying a pack of this candy, thinking it was mint-flavored, and bite into it without knowing. Sounds horrendous. But since Archie McPhee’s line of pink and green candy canes look enticing, there may be a few children just foolish enough to dig in! That we would love to see!
- Orginal article found here
- “Kale Flavored Candy Canes Are Coming to Ruin Christmas for All the Children.” Rare. Rob Fox. November 8, 2019.
- “Kale-flavored candy canes are not the reason for the season.” NY Post. Marissa Delatto. September 17, 2019.