Things Narcissists Say Versus What They Actually Mean

If you have been in a relationship of any kind with a narcissist you will be well aquatinted with how they use language in a totally different manner to everyone else, this is because they are the most manipulative toxic people you will ever know.

Every day phrases we use will have a far different meaning to the narcissist as noted by Carrie Barron, “Current thought challenges the notion that narcissists secretly suffer from low self-esteem or insecurity.  Or that they suffer as much as we thought in the ways that we thought. Recent findings indicate they take pleasure in successful manipulations. Putting down unsuspecting, soft-hearted souls in their minds is a sport. They truly believe in their superiority even if objective evidence does not back it up.”

Narcissists have a high sense of entitlement and they are quite sadistic in their need to bring others down. Conversations with them become a minefield of cross meanings and it is far better to watch their actions than listen to their words as neither ever truly match.

Here are some examples of common phrases used by us all, but what they really mean from a narcissist perspective.

1. I love you. 


I love using you to my own ends.

I love owning you, you are my property.

I love controlling you and seeing the pain it causes.

I enjoy love bombing you and seeing the confusion in your face.

I love to sweet talk you, then pretend I never said it.

I love that you trust me, as that means I can manipulate you.

I love that you tell me all your secrets, as when I’m ready I can use them against you.

2. I am sorry you feel that way.


I’m not sorry for what I did.

I’m not sorry for how I made you feel.

I’m not sorry I got caught out.

I’m not sorry we argued as it’s fun to me.

I’m not sorry I made you feel that way.

The list is endless!

3. You’re oversensitive/overreacting.


I’m gaslighting you, so what, get over it.

You’re reacting correctly to my bullshit but let me bullshit you some more.

I’m invalidating all you say as it doesn’t suit my needs.

I’m convincing you, that you are crazy deal with it.

Now you will work harder to please me.

It’s a benefit to me for you to feel this way.

4. You’re crazy.


I create chaos in your life, and I love seeing your reaction.

I can show everyone that you are the problem, thank you for feeding into that lie.

Look how unstable you are, why do I put up with you.

No one will listen to you now and that’s just how I want it.

5. My exes are crazy.


I sent all my ex’s to crazy town and you are on the way there too.

It’s fun for me, don’t try and stop me.

I love provoking a reaction from you.

Look at you all unhinged; result! I win.

You’ll be a crazy ex too soon, can’t wait to tell those stories.

6. She/he is just a friend.


They are my backup plan, get over it.

You’re boring me and they make life more enjoyable than you do right now.

You’re working me out, time to move on very soon.

If you tell them the truth about me, they won’t believe you as they already believe you are the crazy one.

They are better sexual partners for me, I’m bored with you in bed.

7. You’re so jealous and insecure.


I love that you compete for my attention.

You make me feel loved, desirable and oh so powerful.

I flirt in front of you with other people as it’s fun.

Can’t beat a love triangle to get the reaction I desire.

If you feel threatened by another you will work harder at keeping me.

I can do what I want, you can’t!

8. You have trust issues.


I betray you all the time, but I can do that, you can’t.

I am untrustworthy, so what.

I will never admit I have done something I shouldn’t.

I love watching you panic thinking you are losing me.

9. It’s not all about you.


Me, myself and I is all that matters, you are nothing to me.

If you try and make something about you, I will project back at you my own needs, deal with it.

I will make you feel guilty for having any type of needs, emotional, spiritual, sexual unless of course they suit me.

I am the only one that has needs, you do not!

10. Why can’t we remain friends?


Look I need a harem, its just how I am.

I like to keep you on the outer rim just in case I need you.

What’s wrong with a booty call, you get something out of it too.

Collecting ex’s is a past time of mine.

You will be a convenience to me, so we must remain friends.

11. No one would believe you.


I’ve started my smear campaign.

I’ve told everyone you tell such huge lies, that they just won’t make time to talk to you as they believe nothing from your mouth.

I’ve isolated you as it suits me that you have no friends.

You will stay silent as now you only have me.

12. You’ll never find someone else like me.


I am the best thing for you, accept that.

No one else will want you.

You are mine.

It suits me that you feel worthless.

They are horrible creatures, aren’t they? It is not just relationships you find them, it is in all parts of your life, family, friends, work colleagues etc. If you find after reading this that you have them in your life, get away from them as soon as you can. You will find once they are removed, your life changes for the better.