You are not the exception.
No one really knows they are dealing with a narcissist until they show their true face which only comes to light once they have you hooked into their life. There are some signs that show themselves bit by bit, they are extremely clever people and are the most toxic.
They have a personality disorder its that simple and they are far too arrogant to seek medical advice and help, as to them they are perfect and there is nothing wrong with them, the problem is everyone else.
Here are three mind games that toxic people play with you.
Game #1: Gain, Preserve or Acquire Control
Toxic people must be in control of everything and that includes you. If they feel they don’t have control they have nothing and that won’t do.
They torment you to provoke a response from you as this gives them a sense of power over you.
They crave control in every environment, home, work, parties, online, every damn place there is no hiding from them. If they don’t feel they have control they will increase their efforts until they do.
A classic example of control in a place where you would normally feel safe from them is in the workplace. They will insist on taking you to and from work. Make sure you meet them for lunch so you have no free time from them. If they can they have been known to impact you in your workplace so that you could potentially lose your job, which then means you are fully under their control and reliant on them.
Game #2: Guilt-Tripping
They absolutely love making their victims feel insecure, as this makes them feel powerful and superior. They will guilt trip you into doing this you would at one time never have thought of doing, and you do it out of fear of the consequences if you don’t comply.
Then once you are feeling guilty, they will start to discredit you to others and they are never satisfied until they bring you to your knees. They love being behind a smear campaign.
If they are pissed about something, they will say something that will turn you into being and doing what they want.
Examples of this can be:
Male – “You’re so frigid” to make you feel guilty and give in to his need for more sex.
Female – “You’re so sexist” to make you behave how she thinks you should.
This is an unhealthy way to communicate and you should not allow them to play such mind games on you.
Game #3: Shaming and Disqualifying
They love to bring people down the further down the better as far as they are concerned. They get a real buzz seeing their target suffering and feeling alone, it feeds their sick needs and once they attach themselves it is hard to get them to let go.
They play mind games that instil fear into you. Even a look can fill you with dread and then they show anger that will trigger your fear deep within you and they see that fear in you.
They are waiting for you to slip up, make a mistake and then they will shame you and they do it very publicly. If you mention something related to politics or religion, for example, it could be that’s all they’ve been waiting for to make you feel ashamed of your views. Then when you defend your beliefs they will say “Sometimes you are so oversensitive.” or “It was just a joke, chill.”. They are insulting you. It’s like they purposely enjoy hurting you, by shaming you and disqualifying what you have said.
Does all of the above sound familiar?
If all of the above is your reality then you are dealing with a toxic person and it will just continue and will, in fact, escalate until you break free of them.
Once you make your decision to leave then do so for your own well being as you owe yourself the freedom to be happy and at peace.