Being in a toxic relationship you believe that you have no way out because that is what they brainwash you into thinking.
They convince you that you are not strong enough to be on your own, you can’t live without them and that nobody will ever love you as you are unlovable.
They make you feel unworthy; they make you hate yourself, you become uncomfortable in your own skin, your mental health suffers which causes you to not see clearly, they convince you that you are crazy and that is why you believe there is no way out.
You love them, I get that I really do, but you need to ask yourself am I really in love with them, or am I in love with the idea of love, and if this is love then why is it slowly killing me?
Sometimes it isn’t always easy to see that the relationship you are in is toxic as you are living it and the changes have happened over time.
Here are some signs your relationship is toxic:
1. You are not with him because of love but out of habit
To acknowledge that you are not really in love with them like you thought but are with them out of habit is a tough one. When you realize that he is not the man you thought he was, that he has convinced you that without him you are nothing is a toxic environment. He has worked on you until you are broken and full of emotional scars, your mind is full of doubts and the atmosphere you are living is not normal at all but you are still there in the relationship, trust me that’s a habit.
2. You still think that things will get better
Every day you convince yourself that today will be a better day, that you will get over this bad patch and he will go back to the man you first fell in love with. That man, he doesn’t exist, the man you see now is the real one. You are fighting a losing battle trying to get the old man back, you have bigger battles to fight, and this ‘things will get better’ is not one of them.
3. You don’t want another woman to get what you made out of your partner
You know what you have given him he has absorbed; you don’t want another woman to benefit from that. Seriously girl, don’t even think this, zero fucks should be given on this, let him go and play his charade with someone else, you are worth more, he is not the man of your dreams, he is a parasite.
4. You don’t want to let go of all those happy moments together
Like all relationships there are good and bad days, for you, the bad days outweigh the good, yet you think about all the good times and don’t want to lose them. You tell yourself it isn’t all bad, there is some good in him. If you are honest those good memories, they are the ones that came right after a really bad bout of abuse and he knew he had gone too far, so to keep you he made some amazing times knowing you will remember them.
5. He sometimes shows that he loves you
He does this incredible show of affection that makes you believe you can’t possibly leave him as he loves you and you can make this work. The only person working on the relationship is you, he is just playing along keeping you happy to you stay. The things he says and does are a means to an end, don’t fall for it.
6. You are afraid to live without him
You think you can’t live without him; you are scared of what life could be if you are no longer with him. You feel safe with him, even though ironically being with him is the source of your pain. You can live without him, you did before he came along, there is a future that is possible without him, you just have to take the first step.