We all know toxic people whether they be in our circle or some we notice such as in the workplace so they are hard to avoid. We can always do something about those in our circle when we suddenly just know they are toxic and it’s time to remove them from our lives, not so easy to do in the workplace especially under the current climate where good jobs are hard to find and equally harder to keep.
With toxic people there is always drama along with them, troubles just flow and they exhaust us. But what if you find that toxicity is always around you, is that because of the choices you make with who is in your circle or is it because perhaps you are the toxic one and as like all toxic people, they don’t know they are toxic they just are.
Facing up to the fact you are toxic is never easy, it means taking accountability for your actions and changing your behavior.
According to Psychology Today, Toxic people are never aware of their own toxicity, and that is where the problem lays as if you don’t know how can you do something about it.
Let’s not get confused with the term toxic people to the likes of narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths they are a whole different ball game entirely.
Being toxic is not permanent just become a better version of yourself.
9 Signs You Are A Toxic Person:
1. You don’t have any real friends.
You appear popular you have tons of friends but the question is do you have ‘real’ friends. Ask yourself if you needed any of them in an emergency, would they drop everything to be there for you, if you answer no, then perhaps you have made them act this way towards you and not want to spend any quality time with you, or it could be your choice of friends is what is toxic and its time to get new friends.
2. You are surrounded by drama, always.
Your whole life seems to be one long round of drama after drama and you are left exhausted and at times angry at being in such situations. Ask yourself did you start the drama, if yes, then you have no one to blame but yourself, if no, take a good hard look at who is always at the centre of the drama and get rid of them fast.
3. You allow other toxic people into your life.
We can’t always see who is toxic straight away, life would be so much easier if we could. Behaviors of others rub off on us, we all mirror people around us in some way through life. So, if you find yourself behaving in a way that is toxic, are you mirroring someone who is toxic or are you just toxic. Life events change us and where we were once happy go lucky, over time we have become silently angry, looking at life in a clouded way, and we just don’t know we are doing it.
4. People avoid you.
The people you think of as friends only communicate when they have to, you may even find yourself excluded from life events or parties, that’s a huge red flag that people just don’t want to engage with you. Messages and calls go unanswered and it’s a really horrible place to be.
5. You only text people first when you want something regardless of whether they are ‘friends’ or family.
Do you contact friends and family for a catch up to see how they are doing, get updated on all their news, celebrate their successes, commiserate with them when life just sucks or do you only contact them when you want something, if you only do the latter is it any surprise they don’t want to spend time with you.
6. You hold some of the strongest grudges possible.
You never forgive or forget; you can hold a grudge big time and that grudge will go to the grave with you. This isn’t doing you any good, in fact, it is having a serious negative impact on you and your health, you are wasting your energy, and life is passing you by.
7. You talk bad about people behind their backs.
Everyone gossips! Yes, they do. But if you are always up for a good gossip and talk shit about someone then turn around and are all BFF’s to their face then you are way too toxic and no one likes a two-faced person.
8. You never own up to your mistakes.
We all make mistakes no one is perfect, but when mistakes are made and instead of holding your hands up and saying ‘yeah, that was me’ you blame everyone else, people notice that behavior and it makes you look bad, and if you do it often, it gets old and people will avoid you.
9. You are not reliable.
If you are well known for being all up for doing something one minute then at the last-minute cancelling plans or worse just not bothering to show up, then people will stop believing you can be relied upon. This will feed into everything and they will not trust you. They will view you as a time waster, and just downright selfish.
If you do most of the things on this list the question is:
Are you toxic or are you suddenly struggling with life that is causing you to behave in a perceived toxic way?
Only you can answer that, and only you can do something about it.