Having a baby is one of the biggest changes you experience in life. You cease being a couple around town, you become a family.
Your whole life changes overnight and no amount of preparation can prepare you for the change.
Now you are a family and life suddenly becomes nothing but feeds, diaper changing and laundry that appears to grow by the second.
With all these changes sometimes, problems arise that you were not expecting, this little bundle of joy appears to be the cause of it which isn’t really the case it’s just the whole new concept of now being a ‘family’.
Here are some tips that may help reduce any problems;
Easier said than done when your baby is screaming its head off and you can’t work out why your baby has been feed, diaper changed, winded and nope still they are demanding, and you have no idea why.
This is a stressful time for you both make sure you talk to each other, don’t bottle up any concerns or feelings as they just continue to fester away inside until they explode out of you.
When your baby is asleep, sit down and talk to each other, you may be surprised to find your partner is just as anxious about some things as you are.
Be patient with each other, no judging and please be understanding, this will go a long way to helping each of you feel not alone.
2. Take some time for only two of you
This always feels like an impossibility when you have had a baby. Just as you sit down to eat or watch a movie you can guarantee your little angel will wake up and be demanding attention.
Once asleep have your ‘us time’. Don’t use that time to talk about your baby, talk about anything but your baby.
Be ‘a couple’ again no matter how short that time is.
3. Leave your baby with grandparents
If you have parents close by get them involved as much as you want, set boundaries though so it’s not like a ‘takeover’, most grandparents do want to help but some fear you will see it as interfering.
Perhaps even before your baby arrives discuss with your parents about involvement so that once your baby is here a support system is in place.
Ask them to have your baby overnight when you are ready to be parted for a short while, have that time with your partner and catch up on much-needed sleep.
4. Take shifts
This one is always a challenge as no doubt your partner is working during the day, and you are let’s be honest here ‘working’ 24/7 as being a Mom, yes, it is a job too although some mock when they hear that!
Get a system in place, once your baby has gone to sleep you crash out too and then have your partner do the first wake up a feed, then you do the rest that way they get some uninterrupted sleep and so do you.
5. Do things together
You are not superwoman, you can’t do everything it is impossible to do no matter how hard you try.
Get a system going where you both do the chores, it’s amazing how doing these together stops any resentment growing, trust me I know.
After I lost my shit one day, he went all out to help me out and we have stuck to it ever since, shame it took me screaming at him for it to happen.
Hope these few tips help, there is no magic answer it just depends on how you want your life to be.