Do you remember the scene in the Wizard of Oz where the wicked witch is surrounded by her flying monkeys and she tells them what she wants to be done and off they fly doing her bidding, doing all that is commanded of them, the scary part of the movie, isn’t it.
Now think of a narcissist they have their own team of ‘flying monkeys’ and they live among us every day. These flying monkeys believe the fake persona of the narcissist. They buy into all the lies, deceit and manipulation and the only person in the wrong is you, and you are the abuser and they are so incensed they will do whatever it takes to defend the narcissist.
Narcissists use flying monkeys as a form of guardians to themselves. They fill them with wild stories and that they need to know what ‘you’ are doing and saying to keep themselves safe. They ask them to watch you, report back all you are doing as it is the right thing for them to do, as if the ‘narcissist’ doesn’t know then they could be in danger.
They work on peoples fears, pulling them into a world of false scenarios and before they know it, they are devoted to the narcissist and are their protector.
Lies, Deceit, and Gossip
The narcissist will have a whole library of lies and gossip, they will tell their flying monkeys so many wild stories that will horrify them, and always end with something like ‘if only people knew what they are really like’ meaning you. This is a way to then get the flying monkeys to gossip about you, repeating the stories to anyone who will listen.
This an act of vengeance upon you but done by other people and some of them could have been who you thought were friends. The moment this starts and you see ‘friends’ taking sides, your acceptance of betrayal is a hard one to make.
This one’s a hard one as it is covert and often carried out by those you least expect. The narcissist will have said that they are concerned about your well-being, they think you have mental health problems and that you need to be watched closely but they will also say something along the lines of ‘shhh don’t let them know, just tell me how they are’.
The very people you thought you were safe around and could be trusted as they appear to not be involved in any attacks by the narcissist’s supporters is right in your precious safe circle, they are the viper in your nest that you have worked so hard on building since separating from the narcissist.
Public and Group Attacks
The narcissist can’t get to you directly so they use the flying monkeys to make very public statements about you to anyone who will listen. They have even been known to encourage group chats and then asked to see the screenshots. They absolutely love seeing what people are saying about you and you have no idea and even better their name can’t be associated with it, so when it is found out they can say, ‘well it wasn’t me’.
Social media is a narcissist’s true love as they use it to cause as much damage as possible and often prompt their little crew of flying monkeys to post something, they know would upset you if you saw it. The point is that you do see and the bigger point is that it upsets you with maximum impact as it’s been posted by someone you thought you could trust.
Watch your circle, keep to just a few trusted people and if you suspect anyone is not who they seem, the easiest way to find out is to tell them something that isn’t true and see what happens, if you hear it from someone else then you have your answer.