We give so much of ourselves to our relationships yet never question as to why we are settling for that commitment to not be returned.
Why do we find ourselves just blindly accepting some half-baked relationship, we wouldn’t settle for that in any other aspect of our lives, we just seem to accept out of habit almost, as if we have conditioned ourselves with settling is better than nothing.
We invest so much time in our relationships that they should at the very least be a two-way street and be with someone who is as committed as we are and has our best interests at heart the way we have theirs.
Have you noticed that at the beginning of a relationship they had no problem keeping in contact, sending cute messages, answering your messages within seconds, any calls sometimes don’t even ring before they answer, then suddenly that stops, calls go to voicemail and they finally call back hours later, or texts that get answered with a brief response sometimes only one word.
They suddenly start sucking at keeping touch but have time for everyone else!
You have gone from spending all your free time together to seeing each other a few times a week if you’re lucky. They are always busy yet when it suits them to, they are suddenly available, most likely because someone has cancelled on them and they know you will always be available for them.
You hardly ever go out as a couple anymore, it’s like they don’t want to be seen in public with you, they seem uninterested in socialising unless it is on their terms and they act like the whole world revolves around them and their needs.
You try talking to them about this and what is bothering you and they are too tired to listen or you’re nagging and being annoying. They don’t want to hear about any of your problems that you want to talk over with them, but you are expected to listen to them when they have something bothering them.
You find yourself trying to be more understanding, supportive, more loving, more giving, just so they are happy and in doing so you are making yourself miserable and no matter what you do it is never enough, you are not enough.
The reality is you are enough, they are the ones that are not good enough, they are the ones who are selfish and self-centred and have no concern for what you are thinking or feeling.
You are not being unreasonable, clingy, demanding to expect what you give out in return, you are not there just for their needs.
You desperately hope things will change, that its just a bad patch, but the reality is they are now comfortable treating you this way as this is no longer the new fresh flush of a relationship where they have to be on their best behavior to make you want to be with them. They have you now so they do what they want when they want, this is the real them.
It’s not working, this is not a relationship, this is settling.
They will not change, they most likely will get worse over time.
Do yourself a favor, get out now, stop waiting around for the calls or text. Start to live again and before you know it you will suddenly notice you haven’t had calls or texts for weeks and they have disappeared as you no longer have provided to them what they need.
You are worth so much, as they say, ‘Know your worth, add tax’!
Get out there and find someone who appreciates you and can show you the love you deserve.