People cry when something affects them deeply, it is caused by genuine emotions, they cry when a loved one dies, they cry when someone hurts their feelings, they cry at times out of loneliness and even when the feeling of helplessness impacts them.
You most likely believe that narcissists never cry, but they do but not for the reasons most of us cry. They cry when their negative emotions peaks such as hatred, envy and anger.
Narcissists have zero empathy for anyone except themselves and they are some of the greatest actors the world has ever known.
You are probably thinking you have seen the narcissist displaying excitement, sadness, happiness and raw devastation. These are all learned behaviors from people they have spent time with, it is like an actor learning their lines for a movie.
They have people watched all their lives and have taken note on how to behave and in what situations those behaviors would achieve them the best impact.
They are masters of the art of faking every emotion there is. Do not be fooled if you see the narcissist in your life cry, they are simply acting out a scene and you are supposed to give in to them and that is just what they want.
Think back to when the narcissist cried, was it because you had caught them out doing something, or caught them in a lie, or were you about to leave and they act out the scene of falling apart as they can’t live without you, does any of that sound familiar?
Don’t get me wrong those tears are real tears but not for what normal people would cry for, they are crying because they feel sorry for themselves, they are crying as they are about to lose the source of their supply and it means they have to start all over again on a new victim.
They are crying as life is about to get a little bit harder for them and they are irritated that all the work they put into you is about to walk out of the door.
They are never sorry for what they have done to you, as to them you deserved everything, they dished out to you. So, you leaving is making them feel powerless for the first time since being involved with you and that is not okay with them.
Did those tears convince you to stay? They probably did I know it worked on me more times than I can count, but did you notice the second you gave in those tears disappeared, I don’t know anyone who is feeling genuine emotions that make them cry who can just stop crying dead and then be all happy and laughing.
You stayed because, at that moment when they are sobbing their heart out in front of you, you forget all the pain they have caused, you forget all the abuse and you feel sorry for them.
That is exactly what they expect from you, they expect you to forgive and forget and they always finish the scene off with so many ‘I love you’ your head is spinning and can’t think straight.
Know this, you have just been part of a movie scene which you had not auditioned for!
They play the role of a victim so well and tears are always part of that role, those tears are nothing but selfish, self-centred crocodile tears.
Once they have hooked you back in those tears stop and then the rage comes out as they have already made you feel guilty for attempting to leave so your barriers are down and you are primed and ready to take the barrage of abuse and anger that is to come.
Or, you didn’t fall for the tears, you’re still leaving and they are furious at you and the mask comes off and all hell breaks out.
They start by shaming you, then the abusive language, then at times the physical abuse as they have to get one more shot in before you walk out the door.
Narcissists are well known to be the most heartbroken people at funerals, they cry the loudest and appear the most affected by the loss, don’t be fooled by this, it is simply so they get the most attention and sympathy, and that includes taking attention and sympathy away from the person it should be given to.
There are some circumstances where a narcissist doesn’t cry but looks on the verge of tears, the reality is they are holding in their anger, so to control themselves and you, they will become distant and cold, yet make sure you can see they are on the verge of tears and that is all because of you.
Everything about a narcissist is exaggerated, displays of affection, sadness, happiness etc are all played out to the maximum and they are damn good at it.
Not all narcissists are like this you have the covert narcissist and they are much harder to spot. They never stand out from the crowd, they go about their business quietly and with stealth.
Their emotions seem genuine, what you see seems so credible how could you ever doubt them, they are the ultimate performers and these are the most malignant ones of all, as you stay the longest with them and the consequences on your mental health are devastating.
These people are just downright miserable human beings, they actually feel hatred and disgust for themselves and they project that outwards on whoever is their victim of choice at the time. They wish they were perfect but they are not, they know they are not so they put this flaw onto their victims.
They hate with a passion, they get mad easily and for no reason. They have no empathy, so they do what they want when they want. They are pure evil.
To them, if all else fails, then turn on the tears, pull their victim back in and they get to keep them for another day, but know this, because ‘you’ made them cry, the abuse is now going to be ramped up and you will be the recipient.
Next time the narcissist cries, look at them roll your eyes, and walk away.