Any break up can be traumatic, breaking up with a narcissist that’s a whole other level of trauma. Ugly doesn’t even come close to how that turns out, as you are the one breaking the relationship off before the narcissist has finished with you and that just won’t do in their eyes.
They will do everything they can to try and keep you, and when they finally realize it’s not going to happen this reunion, they have pictured in their head they get pretty pissed off.
Ironically narcissists have their own stages of ‘their grief’ of a breakup but it’s not what you think.
The Narcissist’s 7 Stages Of A Break-Up:
Stage 1: Feeling Threatened
You have broken the relationship off and that just won’t do, the narcissist will know this time you mean it and they will become angry, spiteful and vengeful. Prepare yourself as you have threatened their very existence and anything is possible now.
Stage 2: Patience
After their initial throwing their toys out of the pram and the temper tantrum, they will become calm. This will leave you thinking they have accepted the break, wrong! They are now laying in wait watching you and checking what you are up to, looking for any weak points where they can make a grand entrance back into your life.
Stage 3: Popping In
Life for you is moving on slowly, you are going through your recovery from the abuse, you have vulnerable moments and you know you do, it’s in one of those moments that they do the ‘Hi, how are you doing’ text. Oh no, you don’t not today Satan as the popular meme’s say. The narcissist believes that they can win you over by behaving as they did once before, don’t fall for it.
Stage 4: Apologizing
They will express remorse, be apologetic, tell you they have been sick and getting treatment, that they love you and you are the only one for them. They are trying to get under your skin, trying to play to your emotional responses, they ‘need you’ to love them again.
Stage 5: Caring
They will be caring and loving, telling you so many false promises of how much better life will be for both of you if you got back together. Stay strong and make it clear there is no future for them with you, and then watch them explode when they realize they truly have lost you and their game is now over.
Stage 6: Tearing You Down
They know it’s over but they’re not going without one last attempt at damaging you. They run around running their vicious mouth telling lies about you that makes your toes curl and think well damn where was I when that happened. They want to see you in so much pain it’s a last-ditch attempt at getting the very last ounce of you for themselves. The problem is they don’t see that you are already prepared for this due to their previous behavior and you’re damned if they will see you in any pain.
Stage 7: Really Moving On
Yay! They have finally moved on; they know they can’t get you back so they are off either finding a new supply or hitting up their back up plans as narcissists do tend to have a bit of a harem of unsuspecting women ready for when they need them. The narcissist is no longer your problem just concentrate on yourself and your recovery.
I would like to say though I strongly suggest not allowing the narcissist back in at stage 3 and moving on with your life without all of this bullshit.