When you hear of a narcissist being in a relationship with an empath you just want to scream and say ‘run, run, run’. You know what’s coming and you feel helpless to prevent it.
Giving warnings doesn’t always work as it is down to the individual whether they listen and if they are in the early stages of the relationship where it’s all roses and charm, they won’t believe what you say.
Narcissists make a beeline for those that are empathic by nature as they feed their needs and they don’t care for the damage they leave behind.
To the outside world and those that don’t know the narcissist the relationship looks amazing and something to covet. The reality is very different, the empath is like a bird in a gilded cage.
If you’re wondering what it feels like to be a prisoner of narcissism, read the stages every empath goes through in a relationship with a narcissist.
1. A boy sees a girl. Their eyes meet and the love story begins.
The empath is blown away by the narcissist, this is the man that dreams are made of and she believes herself to be the luckiest woman alive. The reality is those dreams are about to turn into nightmares ones which there is no waking up from and difficult to escape.
2. The narcissist convinces the empath that she is the person he’s been waiting for.
Initially, the narcissist will be all she could hope for, the relationship will be utterly perfect, this false reality, this pretend world, this perfection won’t last and, in its place, will be an insidious being who has their claws deep into the empath’s soul-draining her energy at every opportunity.
3. After stage 1 and 2 are over, the narcissist enters the most important stage of manipulation and control.
Without realizing it the narcissist has already been working on destroying the empaths self-love and self-esteem. She will find herself unable to make decisions and leave all the decision making to him, thus handing over control and this is exactly what the narcissist planned for and he has succeeded.
4. The empath will never stand up to the narcissist at this point in their relationship.
All relationships have downsides, normal relationships work through this by discussing the issues and resolving them. When the narcissist starts his mind games in earnest, the empath is already at the stage where she feels she can’t communicate for fear of the consequences.
5. Empaths will put their heart and soul in their relationship.
When an empath loves it is with pure intentions and they are utterly selfless. They have had an amazing beginning to the relationship and then in one day their world has come crashing down and instead of the man they fell in love with pure evil stands in his place. She has given her all, her heart, body and soul. He now owns her.
6. Slowly, the empath realizes that the relationship she is in is not healthy.
When the empath realizes what has happened by then it is too late, she feels there is no escape. She can see clearly that he loves no one but himself and the hurt runs deep. Her stress levels will go off the chart as she knows what he is capable of if she tries to escape, it is in that moment the final part of who she is snaps and fades away. So, she keeps indulging every one of his needs just to avoid problems.
7. For as long as the empath does everything the narcissist wants, there will be no problems in the relationship.
Narcissists know that when in a ‘relationship’ with an empath they will do all they can to ‘make it right’. They know they will fight to keep the relationship alive as they believe they can ‘fix’ him. The narcissist knows this and accepts the control handed over to them on a plate.
8. Finally, the empath takes action.
Accepting you have been abused is hard when an empath finally accepts this and sees the relationship for what it is there is no quick escape, and she knows this and the mental trauma is made worse because of this realization.
9. No satisfaction for their hunger
There is never enough for the narcissist, whatever you give to them they want more and they will keep taking from anyone until they are empty, he has an insatiable hunger for attention.
10. Desperate, the narcissist switches to over manipulative mode.
He will blame everything that is wrong on her, he will tell her she is too needy, high maintenance and he will be telling that story to anyone who will listen as a prologue to when she does finally leave.
11. Then, the empath will stop and wonder.
Because of point 10, she will believe what he is saying she will doubt everything she says and does; she is now completely vulnerable and that, of course, is the narcissist end game.
12. The problem is, the empath doesn’t understand she’s been manipulated.
The narcissist is inside the empaths head, her mind is in turmoil and when she expresses the pain, he is causing her and that she thinks she is losing her mind all she has done is make the narcissist one happy evil man. Now he has more control than ever before.
13. This is when the empath makes the biggest mistake.
The narcissist will up their level of lies, she will believe everything. He will be openly and loudly telling anyone who will listen to the problems she is causing him and at this rate, she will need to psychiatric care, this fills her with terror and she believes she must be going mad.
14. Time to re-evaluate
What narcissists often forget with empaths they have the ability to step out of themselves if need be, she will do this to assess the situation, she will see the awful situation for what it really is, empaths whilst beautiful caring individuals should never be underestimated especially when it is about their survival.
15. Empaths have to understand that not all people are worthy of their love and attention.
Once she sees the full picture, she will leave, even if she ends up leaving with just the clothes she is wearing. She will make sure she leaves when he can’t prevent her, I personally know someone who would be driven to and from work, she had no time alone from the narcissist except at work, so she knew that was her only opportunity. She told her employer the situation and said I have to leave now or he will get to me, her employer helped her to get away but not everyone is as lucky.
The hardest part for an empath is having to accept not everyone is like them, and whilst she is having to recover from the damage caused, the narcissist is already onto their next victim as believe when I say narcissists always have a back-up plan for when the time comes and they lose their source of emotional food.